Why is My Child So Distressed?

By Jane Hersey
Author of "Why My Child Can't Behave"


Many things can lead to the development of behavior problems in children, and there are many ways to address them.

If the reasons for a child's problems stem from a family situation, interaction with peers, events at school, etc., then the place to look for resolution is clearly there. But if the child has always been hard to parent, the answers might be as close as your kitchen pantry. Here are some children whose families have found answers in their kitchen.

Joshua had a history of social and behavior problems and was expelled from several day care centers and private schools. He did not cope well in special classrooms with a ratio of six children and three teachers. His diagnoses included: severe ADHD, ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), Tourette syndrome and mood disorder syndrome. He was angry, aggressive, compulsive, threatening to kill others and himself, and nothing helped. The counseling, drugs, and even the psychiatric facility did not impact on his downward spiral.

Betsy was only 7 years old, but was haunted by thoughts of death; one of the pieces of art work she brought home from school was a black paper with three tombstones, bearing the initials of her parents and herself. She quietly planned on ways that she could end her life, which held no joy for her despite a loving family that desperately tried to help her.

Sean was expelled from preschool for his violent aggression and uncontrollable behavior. His family tried a therapeutic preschool, and he was at risk of being kicked out of a hospital treatment center because even they could not deal with this little boy's behavior. No amount of medicine controlled his “bi-polar behavior” and psychotic episodes, and his parents were told that Sean was “seriously mentally ill” and would require life-long support.

Frank had a history of violent behaviors and at age 17 it was only a matter of time before he would be incarcerated. But he heard about a special diet and decided he wanted to try it. His meeting with the doctor who was using this diet to help children like Frank, Sean, Betsy and Joshua meant flying from Tennessee to California. Because his mother was afraid of him, Frank's older brother accompanied him to visit with the doctor, Ben Feingold, who was chief of allergy at the Kaiser-Permanente Medical Center in California.

Dr. Feingold discovered that some of the many chemicals routinely added to foods have the ability to affect any system of the body, including the brain. When a child is predisposed to be sensitive to these chemicals, they can wreak havoc. In order for a brain to function well, there are many chemical and electrical processes that must work appropriately; in other words, a lot things have to “go right.” When you add in a potent chemical such as an illicit drug (or even a legal one) our brain chemistry can be dramatically affected. Our bodies handle food additives and drugs in a similar manner.

All of these children described above have stories with happy endings once the offending chemicals were identified and removed. Joshua is an outstanding young man who has won numerous honors in school, in sports, and is a leader in an Air Force program for future officers.

Betsy is a normal, happy girl, Frank is a successful adult and Sean has no remnants of any “permanent mental disorder.” In fact, his mom reports he has recently joined the church choir.

Our bodies are composed of the food we eat; this is where we obtain nutrients of all types, including essential fatty acids, trace minerals and the many vitamins a healthy human body requires. But more and more children are no longer consuming food. Instead they are existing on a diet of synthetic substances that do not deliver the needed components to keep bodies working well and keep our brains operating rationally. These so-called foods might look like real food, fooling our eyes. They might even taste like food, fooling out taste buds. But our bodies are not fooled and when they do not receive the nutrients they need in order to function, things begin to go wrong. In addition to the nutrients they do not receive children today are ingesting a chemical stew of foodless ingredients, many of which are derived from crude oil (petroleum).

Dr. Feingold's experience with troubled children showed that there are a few food additives that appear to be the worst offenders, and removing them brought about significant – often dramatic – changes in behavior, mood, and the ability to focus and learn. These additives include synthetic food dyes (such as Yellow 5 and Red 40); they are created from crude oil, and most of the dyes added to our food start out in petroleum refineries in China. Common preservatives, artificial flavors and even fragrances typically are created from petroleum; rose petals no longer are the source of those pretty scents!

The Feingold diet has been helping families for decades, and the non-profit Feingold Association continues to offer information and support to those who want to learn more. Parent volunteers show others how they can find the foods they enjoy, but minus the unwanted additives; most of them are available at neighborhood supermarkets. See www.feingold.org .

In addition to removing the offensive additives, researchers have found the many benefits of adding supplements to nutrient-starved bodies.

Researchers at Oxford University have shown that the behavior of young male prisoners calmed down when their diet was supplemented with a combination of vitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids (EFAs). Other British research has shown the dramatic benefits of the EFAs, including help for children with ADHD and autism. In the US EFA research has been ongoing at Purdue University for many years.

When nourishing food was given to teens in juvenile detention facilites the improved behavior was documented. And when the Appleton Alternative High School in Wisconsin switched from the usual school food to fresh, healthy food, the behavior problems evaporated and learning improved.

Another risk factor for children with behavior and learning problems.

The drugs that are generally given to children with these problems offer additional concerns. While they may bring about improvements, they are not risk-free. The Food and Drug Administration now requires ADHD drugs to carry warning labels that some children might have reactions that include:

psychotic behavior, depression, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, violence, as well as a host of health effects including cancer, liver damage, strokes and heart attacks.

Risk factors with antidepressants and related drugs

Psychotropic drugs are routinely given to children who are diagnosed as depressed, bi-polar, etc., and these also carry warnings that side effects can include depression and violent behaviors. It can be difficult to sort out whether a behavior is originating within the child or is a side effect of some of the medications he is taking. The fact that all of these drugs are now being given to children who are still infants raises many red flags. Who knows what long-term effects they will have?

While it's comforting to think that only a minority of children experience the most dangerous reactions, the number of children now being medicated means that a minority can be a very large number of children. (It has been estimated that 10% of all 10-year-old boys in the United States are now on drugs for ADHD.)

A new awareness in Europe

The scientific evidence for the harm caused by petroleum-based food dyes is now so compelling that the British government is seeking to ban them and the European Parliament has voted to require warning labels on foods that contain them. While dyes are not the only additives that can cause adverse reactions, they are the most notorious, the easiest to replace, and offer no value to the consumer.

So, for the child whose behavior has gone over the edge, or if you worry that your youngster is on this path, one simple change that you can implement with no risk, very little cost, and relatively small effort, is to replace those mixes, cookies, candies, sodas, and fast food with nearly-identical versions that are free of the worst of the additives. And while you're at it, try eating the good food yourself; every parent needs to have their brain cells working at optimum levels as they deal with that temporary insanity called “adolescence.”

Sue Scheff: Parenting ADHD Children - Advice for Moms

By ADDitude Magazine

Moms' advice for parenting ADHD children, creating an ADD-friendly household and smoothing out daily rough spots

It’s the stuff attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) days are made of: You’re trying to get your daughter to finish her homework, but she insists on doing cartwheels across the living room. Or you’ve already had two big dustups with your son — and it’s only 9 a.m.

Sound familiar? Parents of ADHD children have a lot on their plates. And while doctors, therapists, and ADD coaches can offer helpful guidance, much of the best, most practical advice on parenting ADD children comes from those who have been there, done that. In other words, from other ADHD parents.

For this article, ADDitude asked members of support groups across the country (both live and online) for their tried-and-true parenting skill tips for monitoring behavior problems, disciplining and smoothing out the daily rough spots. Here’s what they said.

The morning routine
In many families, the friction starts soon after the alarm clocks sound. It’s not easy to coax a spacey, unmotivated child out of bed and into his clothes; the strategizing required to get the entire family fed and out the door on time would test the mettle of General Patton.

Getting off to a slower start can make all the difference, say parents. “We wake our son up a half-hour early,” says Toya J., of Brooklyn, New York, mother of eight-year-old Jamal. “We give him his medication, and then let him lie in our bed for a while. If we rush him, he gets overwhelmed — and so do we. Once the meds kick in, it’s much easier to get him going.”

Some parents aren’t above a little bribery. “In our house, it’s all about rewards,” says Jenny S., of New York City, mother of Jeremy, age seven. “Every time we have a good morning, I put a marble in the jar. For every five marbles, he wins a small reward.”

Amy B., of Los Angeles, mother of Jared, age seven, is another believer in reward systems. “If the TV is on, it’s impossible to get him moving. Now the TV stays off until absolutely everything is done and he’s ready to go. He moves quickly because he wants to watch that television.”

Another way to keep your morning structured and problem-free is to divide it into a series of simple, one-step tasks. “I’m the list queen,” says Debbie G., of Phoenix, mother of Zach, 10. “I put a list on his bedroom door that tells him step-by-step what he needs to do. I break his morning routine down into simple steps, like ‘BRUSH TEETH,’ ‘MAKE BED,’ ‘GET DRESSED,’ and ‘COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST.’ The key is to make it easy to follow.”

What about kids who simply cannot, or will not, do what’s asked of them? When 10-year-old Liam refuses to comply, his mom, Dina A., of New York City, shifts into “if-you-can’t-beat-’em,-join-’em” mode. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this,” she says, “but I wake him up and bring him cereal in bed. Once he’s gotten something to eat, he’s not as crabby.”

Behavior patterns
At first glance, a child’s misadventures may seem random. But spend a week or two playing detective, and you may see a pattern. Pay attention to the specific situations that lead to trouble and — even more important — to the times of day when trouble usually occurs.

“You may find that tantrums come at certain times of the day,” says Laura K., of San Francisco, mother of Jack, eight. “With my son, we found that it was right after the medication wore off. So we asked the doctor for a small booster dose to get us through. It’s worked wonders for cutting down on the bad behavior.”

Sometimes children simply fail to see the connection between how they behave and how they’re treated. In such cases, behavior charts are a godsend. The idea is to post a chart, specifying the behaviors you expect and the rewards the child will earn for toeing the line.

Renee L., of Northbrook, Illinois, mother of Justin, nine, explains: “Once children see that good behavior gets them privileges and bad behavior gets them nothing, they’re more likely to comply.” It helps to focus on only a few behaviors at a time.

Sue Scheff: Helping ADHD Children with Impulse Control: Smart Discipline

By ADDitude Magazine

Help children with ADHD think before they act by establishing clear expectations, positive incentives, and predictable consequences for good or bad behavior at school and home.
For children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) ruled by their impulses, calling out in class or pushing to the front of the line comes naturally. These kids live in the moment, undeterred by rules or consequences. Even when they are rude or unruly, they may not recognize that their behavior is disturbing to others.

Lack of impulse control may be the most difficult ADD symptom to change. Medication can help, but kids also need clear expectations, positive incentives, and predictable consequences if they are to learn to regulate their behavior.
Click here for entire article.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Feingold Diet and Program

The Feingold Program

Did you know that the brand of ice cream, cookie, and potato chip you select could have a direct effect on the behavior, health, and ability to learn for you or your children?

Numerous studies show that certain synthetic food additives can have serious learning, behavior, and/or health effects for sensitive people.

The Feingold Program (also known as the Feingold Diet) is a test to determine if certain foods or food additives are triggering particular symptoms. It is basically the way people used to eat before "hyperactivity" and "ADHD" became household words, and before asthma and chronic ear infections became so very common.
Read the entire article here.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - ADHD Teens and Puberty

By ADDitude Magazine

What parents of ADHD boys should watch for as their sons pass through adolescence.

Until he was 10 or 11, Robert was cheerful and lively, if sometimes distractible and hyper. Then came 12 and 13. “He alternates between couch potato and monster,” says his mother, Anne. “What happened to my sweet little boy?”

What happened were puberty (physical changes) and adolescence (psychological and social changes), which occur when children begin maturing into adults. Some kids begin to “act” like adolescents before puberty; others may not accept the role of adolescent until long after puberty. Whenever they happen, you’re in for a bumpy ride.

Fortunately, boys with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) don’t seem to have more difficulty coping with puberty than others. However, their particular problems and stresses may differ somewhat. Here are some issues to consider.

Refusing medicine
“Raging hormones” can cause intense physical and psychological changes. Teens often find body changes distressing and desperately want to fit in. That’s why many kids who cooperatively took medication in elementary school begin to protest and rebel in their teens; they don’t want to be singled out by going to the school office or health room.

Try to understand and help. If you can find an appropriate medication in a long-acting formulation, your child won’t have to take medicine in school. You can even allow a short trial off medication which may help your teen understand the need to continue taking it. Before discontinuing medication, consult with your family doctor or a mental health professional.

Peer pressure
All children need to feel accepted by their peer group. If the years of having ADHD (and possibly a learning disability) have resulted in poor social skills and limited success with friends, early adolescence may be painful.

The danger for some kids is that they may seek out any peer group that accepts them. Socially rejected ADHD boys frequently latch on to other “misfits” who do not do well in school or sports. The combination of a misfit peer group, the need to be accepted, and low self-esteem places ADHD teens at great risk of alcohol and drug use. Get educated and if you suspect these problems, get help.

Lack of supervision
Experimentation with alcohol, drugs, and sex doesn’t take place on weekend nights. The riskiest hours are between 3 and 6 P.M. on school days. Kids are often unsupervised because both parents work. They frequently visit friends’ houses with no adult present.

Be proactive. If you can’t supervise your teens after school, make sure they’re involved in sports, arts, community service or other activities that are supervised by adults. Keep tabs on where they are and what they’re doing at all times.

Comorbid disorders
People with ADHD are at increased risk of comorbid disorders (two or more conditions that occur at the same time). Depression and anxiety disorders often first show up between the ages of 8 and 12, and again in early adolescence. Watch your child for symptoms, and seek help if you think there’s a problem.

Also watch for signs of Conduct Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder, which are marked by antisocial, hostile, and unusually oppositional behavior. These disorders frequently place impulsive ADHD boys in dangerous, even criminal situations. Intervention is imperative.

Medication changes
Most boys on medication for ADHD do not need to change medication as they enter puberty. Even significant weight increases may not warrant an increased dose. If the dose used earlier in life still works, don’t change it.

The good news is that about half of ADHD kids improve significantly after puberty. Many no longer need medication. The rest will probably need medication through adolescence and possibly into adulthood.

On balance, most ADHD boys pass through adolescence with no more difficulty than others. Becoming a couch potato is not a disorder. However, seek professional advise if your son seems unusually sad, withdrawn, angry, or anxious. Don’t wait for a problem to escalate into a crisis. Even if your concerns are unfounded, it’s better to discuss them with a mental health professional than to wish you had acted sooner.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Discipline Without Regret: Tips for Parents of ADHD Children

How parents can set boundaries for ADHD children without yelling, screaming, or losing your cool. The smart way to discipline.


Click Here for Entire Article.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) ADHD is Real

By Connect with Kids

“Kindergarten is when we started with the diagnosis. His kindergarten teacher noticed it, said he just couldn’t focus, couldn’t stay on task.”

– Katherine, mother

Hundreds of thousands of kids have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and many are taking stimulant medicine to help them succeed in school. Will these kids have to take pills for the rest of their lives? New research says maybe not.

Nine-year-old Mitchell has ADHD.

“Kindergarten is when we started with the diagnosis. His kindergarten teacher noticed it, said he just couldn’t focus, couldn’t stay on task. So we took him to his pediatrician and he noticed it right in his office and said, ‘Let’s try to get him on some medicine,’” says Katherine, Mitchell’s mother.

Since then, Mitchell has been on a stimulant ADHD medicine. But will he need the medication forever? Not necessarily, according to new research. Researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health performed brain scans of more than 400 children. They found that children with ADHD had a three-year delay in development of the frontal lobe -- the area of the brain responsible for attention and planning.

“This study is important because now it links the behavioral disorder with a more medical or organic finding on brain development. I think it should also help parents to feel that it is a true disorder and is something that we’re trying to treat and to help the children get on task,” says Thomas Burns, Psy.D., Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.

What’s more, says Burns, that three-year delay means some children with ADHD may outgrow their disorder.

“There’s a subset of kids that appear to catch up over time and for those children, it would fit with a small subset of the kids diagnosed with ADHD that appear to grow out of it in their teens,” says Burns.

Mitchell hopes he’s one of those kids.

“I think I might outgrow it,” says Mitchell.

”Yes, I’m thinking with our help we can overcome it and eventually get him off the medicine,” says Katherine.

Tips for Parents

Children with ADHD have impaired functioning in multiple settings, including home, school and relationships with peers. If untreated, the disorder can have long-term adverse effects into adolescence and adulthood. (National Institute of Mental Health, NIMH)

NIMH reports that symptoms of ADHD will appear over the course of many months, and include:

Impulsiveness: a child who acts quickly without thinking first.

Hyperactivity: a child who can't sit still; walks, runs or climbs around when others are seated; talks when others are talking.

Inattention: a child who daydreams or seems to be in another world, is sidetracked by what is going on around him or her.

If ADHD is suspected, the diagnosis should be made by a professional with training in ADHD.

This includes child psychiatrists, psychologists, developmental/behavioral pediatricians, behavioral neurologists, and clinical social workers. (NIMH)

For children with ADHD, no single treatment is the answer for every child. A child may sometimes have undesirable side effects to a medication that would make that particular treatment unacceptable. And if a child with ADHD also has anxiety or depression, a treatment combining medication and behavioral therapy might be best. Each child’s needs and personal history must be carefully considered. (NIMH)

Some people get better results from one medication, some from another. It is important to work with the prescribing physician to find the right medication and the right dosage for your child. For many people, the stimulants dramatically reduce hyperactivity and impulsivity and improve their ability to focus, work and learn. The medications may also improve physical coordination, such as that needed in handwriting and in sports. (NIMH)

References

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta