Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Sue Scheff: Teen Stress by Connect with Kids


“Depression and anxiety are closely related. And so you can have kids that stop wanting to be involved in things and they spend more and more time in their room and less and less time out playing, cultivating friends -- those are all warning signs.”

– Dr. Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist

Who is more stressed out: a parent who has to work hard to pay the bills and raise a family, or a teenager who has to go to school and learn? You may have correctly guessed the answer; still, to some it may come as a surprise.

Recent polls report that 75 percent of adults are stressed or worried about money, family troubles and problems with their boss. But there is a group even more stressed out: kids.

“You know everyone talks about stress and there is a lot of stress,” says Marcus, 16.

“Something you’re always going to have to deal with; it’s never going to go away,” says Andrew, 17.

According to a new Associated Press/MTV poll, 85 percent of teens say they feel stressed. Almost half the boys and a third of the girls say the pressure is there almost every day. Their biggest worry is school.

“Sometimes it’s going to be really stressful because you’re going to get down to the end one night and you’ve got a test the next day and a paper due but you know you have to do it,” says C.T., 17.

Experts say a little stress can energize and motivate a child, but too much has another name: anxiety. And that can be de-motivating.

“Depression and anxiety are closely related. And so you can have kids that stop wanting to be involved in things and they spend more and more time in their room and less and less time out playing, cultivating friends -- those are all warning signs,” says Dr. Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist.

Experts say parents can help by offering a careful balance of expectations.

“The most important thing is that you don’t underestimate nor do you overestimate your expectations of your child’s performance,” says Dr. Sherwood Smith, Ph.D., psychologist.

Which is no easy task for parents, he says. Still, his next advice may be a little easier.

“Let your child know that regardless of their level of success, you love and you value that child,” says Smith.

According to the poll, school and studies was ranked the number one stressor by a third of all teens. Fourteen percent said their job was number one; 11 percent said family caused the most amount of stress in their life.

Tips for Parents

Pressure that is too intense or lasts too long, or troubles that are shouldered alone, can cause people to feel stress overload. Here are some of the things that can overwhelm the body's ability to cope if they continue for a long time: (Nemours Foundation)

Being bullied or exposed to violence or injury

Relationship stress, family conflicts, or the heavy emotions that can accompany a broken heart or the death of a loved one

Ongoing problems with schoolwork related to a learning disability or other problems, such as ADHD (usually once the problem is recognized and the person is given the right learning support the stress disappears)

Crammed schedules, not having enough time to rest and relax, and always being on the go

The most helpful method of dealing with stress is learning how to manage the stress that comes with any new challenge, good or bad. Stress-management skills work best when they're used regularly, not just when the pressure's on. (Nemours Foundation)
Knowing how to "de-stress" and doing it when things are relatively calm can help you get through challenging circumstances that may arise. Here are some things that can help keep stress under control: (Nemours Foundation)

Take a stand against over-scheduling. If you're feeling stretched, consider cutting out an activity or two, opting for just the ones that are most important to you.
Be realistic. Don't try to be perfect -- no one is. Expecting others to be perfect can add to your stress level, too (not to mention put a lot of pressure on them!) If you need help with something, such as schoolwork, ask for it.

Get a good night's sleep. Getting enough sleep helps keep your body and mind in top shape, making you better equipped to deal with any negative stressors. Because the biological "sleep clock" shifts during adolescence, many teens prefer staying up a little later at night and sleeping a little later in the morning. But if you stay up late and still need to get up early for school, you may not get all the hours of sleep you need.

Learn to relax. The body's natural antidote to stress is called the relaxation response. It's your body's opposite of stress, and it creates a sense of well-being and calm. The chemical benefits of the relaxation response can be activated simply by relaxing. You can help trigger the relaxation response by learning simple breathing exercises and then using them when you're caught up in stressful situations.

Treat your body well. Experts agree that getting regular exercise helps people manage stress. (Excessive or compulsive exercise can contribute to stress, though, so as in all things, use moderation.) Eat well to help your body get the right fuel to function at its best. It's easy when you're stressed out to eat on the run or eat junk food or fast food. But under stressful conditions, the body needs its vitamins and minerals more than ever.

References
Nemours Foundation

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Sue Scheff: Child Depression and Adolescent Depression


by National Institute of Mental Health
December 6, 2007

Depression in Children and Adolescents

Depression is a very real and serious problem for both children and teens.

Research has shown that childhood depression often persists, recurs and continues into adulthood, especially if it goes untreated. The presence of childhood depression also tends to be a predictor of more severe illnesses in adulthood.

A child with depression may pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, cling to a parent, or worry that a parent may die. Older children may sulk, get into trouble at school, be negative and irritable, and feel misunderstood. Because these signs may be viewed as normal mood swings typical of children as they move through developmental stages, it may be difficult to accurately diagnose a young person with depression.

Before puberty, boys and girls are equally likely to develop depressive disorders. By age 15, however, girls are twice as likely as boys to have experienced a major depressive episode.23

Depression in adolescence comes at a time of great personal change–when boys and girls are forming an identity distinct from their parents, grappling with gender issues and emerging sexuality, and making decisions for the first time in their lives. Depression in adolescence frequently co–occurs with other disorders such as anxiety, disruptive behavior, eating disorders or substance abuse. It can also lead to increased risk for suicide.

One research study of 439 adolescents with major depression found that a combination of medication and psychotherapy was the most effective treatment option. Researchers are developing and testing ways to prevent suicide in children and adolescents, including early diagnosis and treatment, and a better understanding of suicidal thinking.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Sue Scheff: Teen Depression Risk Factors by DepressionReport.info

Teen Depression Risk Factors

There are a number of factors that put a teen at a higher risk for developing depression. Many of these risk factor are red flags for parents, friends, and loved ones to watch out for in a teenager. These factors include:



Experiencing problems or difficulty at school.

Going through a traumatic event. Examples include parents who get divorced, abusive parents, the death of a loved one, or a break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Weight loss or weight gain.

Difficulty dealing with anger.

Developing an interest in violence or a becoming increasingly fearful of violence.

Difficulty sleeping.

Developing an interest in drugs or alcohol.


Teenage depression is the leading cause of teenage suicide. Yet, approximately 80% of teenagers thinking of suicide leave clues. Through careful observation and an understanding of the risk factors of teenage depression, many of these suicides can be prevented.


Causes of Teenage Depression

Teenage depression is largely caused by stress. During the adolescent years, a person undergoes a number of emotional, physical, and mental changes. First of all, hormones start raging and bring with them a plethora of confusing emotions. In addition, teenagers often feel a great deal of pressure from their parents and from teachers to do well in school and to participate in athletics. Furthermore, peer pressure and an overwhelming desire to do whatever it takes to fit in with their peers causes teenagers a great deal of stress.

The stress teenagers feel can result in anger, nervousness, and an inability to concentrate. It can also lead to physical symptoms such as nausea and headaches. Ultimately, the stress can cause social withdraw and depression.


Preventing Teenage Depression

Thankfully, there are several steps a parent can take to prevent teenage depression from setting in on their child.

The first is to always utilize positive disciplinary techniques. Desirable behaviors should be reinforced through praise and recognition rather than utilizing punishment and shame techniques. Punishment and shaming only serves to leave the teenager feeling worthless and inadequate.

At the same time, parents must be careful not to overprotect or to overdirect their teenagers. Children and young adults need to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes.

Protecting your teen from experiencing mistakes, or continually telling your child what to do rather than letting him or her make independent decisions, will ultimately make them feel as if you have know faith in his or her ability to make decisions.

It is also important to never push your teen to participate in certain activities because you want him or her to reach your unachieved goals. Your child needs to find his or her own sense of identity and worth.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Parents Universal Resource Experts and Sue Scheff: Is Depression Contagious by Psychology Today

Entire families can be depressed together and not even know it. But healthy communication can prevent you and your loved ones from getting down.

Like the flu, depression is a highly contagious disorder that can be transmitted socially. It is especially apt to take up residence in a household, jumping from one family member to others. And just as individuals can be depressed, so can whole families, often without their awareness.

Depression in a family can suck up all the energy of a household, turning a home into a black hole of swirling negative emotions. Usually, such depression is disguised as physical illness or a general air of irritability and negativity. Family members withdraw into their own spaces, in the protective custody of a TV or computer. And pessimism, sarcasm or silence becomes the dominant style of family communications.

Families can prevent depression from taking up permanent residence and commandeering their interaction patterns by:

Being on the lookout for signs of depression in a family member.

The sooner you spot it, the faster you can help the individual out of it and contain the risk to others. In young children, it may take the form of defiant behavior but not overt sadness. In school age children, depression can be underachievement and withdrawal from school and social activities. In teens, it is often disguised in smoking, drinking or drug use, in older people as lack of appetite for food or life.

Developing skills around positive thinking and positive talking in the household.

Families often inherit a negative thinking style that carries the germ of depression. Typically it is a legacy passed from one generation to the next, a pattern of pessimism invoked to protect loved ones from disappointment or stress. But in fact, negative thinking patterns do just the opposite, eroding the mental health of all exposed.

When Dad consistently expresses his disappointment in Josh for bringing home a B minus in chemistry although all the other grades are As, he is exhibiting a kind of cognitive distortion that children learn to deploy on themselves — a mental filtering that screens out positive experience from consideration.

Or perhaps the father envisions catastrophe, seeing such grades as foreclosing the possibility of a top college, thus dooming his son’s future. It is their repetition over time that gives these events power to shape a person’s belief system.

Instead, set up guidelines for healthy communication. Make everyone aware of the common types of distortions:

Catastrophizing, exaggerating the harmful effects of a disappointing event
Personalizing, seeing yourself or your child as the cause of a disappointing outcome
All-or-nothing thinking, reducing complexities to absolutes, like knowing you’re not perfect but seeing yourself as a loser
Overgeneralizing, interpreting one disappointment as part of an inescapable pattern
Filtering, focusing on negative aspects of an experience while ignoring the positive side

Make an agreement among family members to be habit breakers for each other (at home) when someone slips into negative thinking. Remind each other and support each other.

Make sure that your family has an ongoing supply of positive experiences and a bank of them to call on when times get rough. Negative experiences carry so much psychological weight that positive experiences need to seriously outnumber negative ones. A ratio of 2 to 1 is realistic when you start to build positive interactions, and 5 to 1 is the long term goal.

Inventory positive and negative interactions as a family. When you eat breakfast together, how does it go? Is it on balance a positive or negative experience? What action plan does the family need to use to build more positive experience and lessen the negative? For example, encourage activities in which family members include each other in various combinations. Just going to the movies together can be a highly positive shared event.

Get together often to survey emotional needs for the next week. Ask, what do you need to make this work for you? That way challenges can be anticipated and met with minimal stress on the whole family. What emotional needs do family members have in order to get done what is on their schedule? If Sara has a big test on Friday, then one parent might plan to be especially available on Thursday evening for support

Checking in on people’s well-being and not just on their activity schedule contributes to a sense of connectedness that is a major buffer against depression at every stage of life. Paying as much attention to family feelings as family activities is one of the best protections you can use to combat family depression.

This content is Copyright Sussex Publishers, LLC. 2007. This content is intended for personal use and may not be distributed or reproduced without the consent of Sussex Publishers, LLC. Please contact licensing@psychologytoday.com for more information.

What's Related


Other articles by Psychology Today

Calling in Sick to Work
Resilience and Disease
Explaining the Loss of a Pet to a Child
Embracing the Challenge of Life with Epilepsy
Disciplining Other People’s Children
If Your Child is Afraid of the Doctor
The Gift of Learning
Picky Eaters
Teaching Your Child To Fall Asleep
An Introduction to Treatment of Depression

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Sue Scheff: Book Reviews By Parents for Parents

At P.U.R.E. parents share reading recommendations to help other parents.

It is about parents helping parents.

Click here.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Sue Scheff articles on Teen Depression and more

My new Blog has news articles from around the world about subjects such as teen depression, teen anger, teen suicide, teen pregnancy and more.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

About Teen Depression - By Sue Scheff

Depression, as a clinical illness, will affect about 20% of teens before they reach adulthood.

Many young teens suffer from depression as result of situations surrounding their social or family life, but many are succeptable to the disease regardless of race, gender, income level or education. It is very important for parents to keep a watch on their teens - and to maintain a strong level of communication.

My name is Sue Scheff and I understand how difficult it can be dealing with a troubled teenager. Through my organization Parents Universal Resource Experts, I work with parents like you every day, looking for help and answers in desperation. You are not alone!
Here we have compiled some of the best articles and resources on teen depression for parents in need of help.

Depression is the most common mental health disorder or illness in the US among teenagers and adults. Statistics show that this is a very large and concerning problem.


  • About 20 percent of teens will experience teen depression before they reach adulthood.
    Somewhere between 10 and 15 percent of teens show symptoms of depression at any given time.

  • About 5 percent of teens are suffering from major depression at any one time.

  • As many as 8.3 percent of teens suffer from depression for at least a year at a time.

  • Most teens with depression will suffer from more than one episode. 20 to 40 percent will have more than one episode within two years, and 70 percent will have more than one episode before adulthood. Episodes of teen depression generally last about 8 months.

  • Dysthymia, a type of mild, long-lasting depression, affects about 2 percent of teens, and about the same percentage of teens develop bipolar disorder in their late teenage years. 15 percent of teens with depression eventually develop bipolar disorder.

  • A small percent of teens also suffer from seasonal depression, usually during the winter months in higher latitudes.

  • 30 percent of teens suffering from depression will also develop one or more problems with substance abuse.

  • Less than 33 percent of teens suffering from depression successfully seek and receive help for their disorder.

Common warning signs/symptoms of teenage depression

  • Changes in eating and sleeping habits (eating and sleeping too much or too little)
  • Significant change in weight (loss or gain)
  • Often misses school and/or shows bad school performance
  • Reclusive, withdrawing from friends or family members
  • Quick to show anger/rage
  • General restlessness or anxiety
  • Overreacts to criticism, even constructive
  • Seems very self conscious, guilty
  • Unusual problems with authority
  • No longer partakes in or enjoys activities and events they once loved
  • Indecision, lack of concentration, or forgetfulness
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Frequent health complaints despite being healthy
  • Lack of motivation and enthusiasm for every day life
  • Drug/alcohol abuse
  • Mentions or thoughts of suicide

There are many causes of teen depression. The most common causes are:


  • Significant life events like the death of a family member or close friend, parents divorce or split, breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or moving to a new school/area.
    Emotional/Physical neglect, being separated from a nurturer, abuse, damage to self esteem.

  • Many changes happening too quickly can cause depression. For some teens, any major change at one time can trigger symptoms.
    Stress, especially in cases where the teen has little or no emotional support from parents, other family members, or friends.

  • Past traumatic events or experiences like sexual abuse, general abuse, or other major experiences often harbor deep within a child and emerge in the teen years. Most children are unable to process these types of events when they happen, but of course, they remember them. As they age, the events/experiences become clearer and they gain new understanding.

  • Changes associated with puberty often cause emotions labeled as depression.
    Abuse of drugs or other substances can cause changes in the brainÕs chemistry, in many cases, causing some types of depression.

  • Some medical conditions such as hypothyroidism are believed to affect hormone and mood balance. Physical pain that is chronic can also trigger depression. In many cases, depression caused by medical conditions disappears when medical attention is sought and treatment occurs.

  • Depression is a genetic disorder, and teens with family members who have suffered from depression have a higher chance of developing it themselves.

For more information visit www.suescheff.org or www.helpyourteens.com